Q: What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common?
A: Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
Q: What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
A: Their personalities.
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips move
Q: What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
A: Your honour.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they are all nice guys
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of crap?
A: a bucket
Q: What is the difference between God and a lawyer?
A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
